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Why I Support MaryDale “MayMay” Entrata For Big Three

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Reasons Why I Support Mary Dale “MayMay” Entrata for Big Three

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As PBB Teens is coming to an end, I know most of us have our own bet. I also realized that a basher can find unending fault at one housemate while others see none. I don’t plan to contradict anybody.  I am merely expressing my opinion and sharing why I love my bet.

  1. From Day 1 she exuded good vibes inside the house.

Kung nasimulan mo ang season na ito ng PBB, then like me, you still remember that day. I think every single soul who watched the show that night laughed as she said, “Hala, bakit ganon. Kain na lang ako.” While Nikko and McCoy pretended to be having a fight.

It was her positive vibes that drew her housemates to her those first few days and made everyone felt at ease and welcomed. Her positive vibes is really a charm.

It was also this positive side of her that helped Edward to enjoy dancing even if it’s not his thing during their first lucky task. Ito din ang dahilan kaya nagawa nya ang first secret task ng season nila, at yon ay maisagawa ang iba’t-ibang request ng mama ni Heaven para sa 100 secs nila.

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  1. She’s not really an ate outside the house but she tries her very best to be a good ate to her housemates.

She has her worries that she might not be a good ate the day the celebrity housemates left. But as days go by, she step by step proved that she can be an Ate to all of them. Minsan, we think na isip bata s’ya. Siguro dahil parati s’yang tumatawa, ginagawang biro ang lahat. Pero hindi rin maitatanggi na kapag kailangan ng voice of reason nandiyan siya. She knows how to step up and take control of the situation when it’s needed. Isa sa mga halimbawa nito ay ang mga pagkakataon na nagkaroon ng hindi pagkakaunawaan sa loob ng bahay ni kuya. Noong nag away si Christian at si Rita, Si Christian at si Marco, Si Marco at si Kisses. Hindi naging madali yon para sa kanya pero makikita natin yong effort nya na ayusin ang gusot ng walang pinapanigan.

At bilang isang ate, nakita din natin iyong concern nya noong medyo lumalampas na sa limitasyon ang ibang housemates. Hindi iyon naging madali sa iba na tanggapin pero pinanindigan nya ang kung ano sa palagay niya ay tama.

  1. I saw her beautiful soul when Lola Pina came in.

Habang ang ibang housemate ay pinipilit ang sarili na pakinggan si lola sa walang katapusan nyang kwento, si Maymay makikita mo na very genuine sya sa kung ano mang kwento ni lola. Halos ayaw na nyang umalis sa tabi ni lola. There were a few conversation that really stuck with me and here they were (Please note that all conversations from here onwards are non verbatim):

Fenech to Maymay when they got Lola’s things in the storage room: May diaper ate Maymay, paano to? Sino maglalagay?

Maymay to Fenech: E di ako, ginagawa ko din naman ito sa lola ko.

She said it so casually I felt the sincerity in my bones. Walang pagdadalawang isip. Walang pag-aalinlangan. She said it like it’s the most natural thing to do.

When they were planning their show:

Kristine to Housemates: Nasaan na ba si ate maymay? Kailangan natin si ate maymay sya ang magaling dito.

I think it was Aizan who answered: Na kay Lola. Ayaw na umalis sa tabi ni Lola. Namimiss ata lola nya.

This stuck to me because, that same day, I saw one of the housemates a little bit earlier to this scene rolling eyes at lola’s stories when lola was not looking. The housemates may not have noticed but the camera sure did. And I did. While this housemate was acting like she cared, Maymay was there who truly cared.

And I guess all Prime Time viewers remembered that night that MayMay took care of lola while everyone else was still asleep. Her words:

“Pag matanda na tayo, maghahanap din tayo ng pagmahal at pag aruga. Kung gusto natin na ‘yon ang gawin sa atin, ngayon pa lang gawin na natin yon sa mga lolo at lola natin. Lahat naman tayo ay papunta don.’

At her young age, she was brought up to never forget respect for the elderly, to care with them with genuineness, to love them unconditionally.

Kung nanonood ka ng Livestream alam mo na to listen to lola was not an easy feat. Hindi sya nauubusan ng kwento as in. Pero Maymay and a few other housemates never ran out of patience for her either. Never got tired of listening and Maymay most of all, she never got tired of attending to her needs despite how tired she was with the task at hand.

  1. The way she looks at life is an inspiration.

If you’ve watch since the beginning of this season, you probably know her life story. How her father left them when she was still a baby because her mother is poor. How her father’s parents tried to buy off her mother like the way people do in teleserye. You probably also know the story of the ex-bf who’s family looked at her at the same way.

The great thing about this story was that the situation made her strong but it also never let her lose sight of what’s important.  And that’s to love and accept people for what and who they are.  Never s’yang nag judge ng tao dahil sa estado sa buhay. And that’s why she’s best friend with Kisses even though the latter was rich. She cried to kuya about never meeting her real father but still, there was no bitterness. There was only longing. A longing to be hugged and loved by a real father. She may be funny most of the time but her life story is not a funny one. It was tough. But in spite all of that, her heart remain good and pure. And that just made me love her more.

  1. When she cares for someone, she does with all her heart.

Kisses and Edward are the two closest housemates to her. I like how she bonded with Kisses despite their differences in life. The first time Kisses was nominated, I remember her telling Kisses that if ever she got evicted, she will look for her and find her when she go out too. There was even this conversation with Kisses, MayMay and Fenech while they were cleaning that goes like this:

Maymay: Kisses pag lumabas tayo ditto ayos lang ba kung puntahan kita sa school mo tapos kakain tayo sa labas.

Kisses: Oo naman.

Fenech: Kayong dalawa lang talaga?

Maymay: Selos ka?

Fenech said yes but I don’t know the exact words because it was in Bisaya but ain’t that sweet? They bonded like the real sisters they never had in real life.

Edward on the other hand is another matter. What really stuck with me that made me realized how much MayMay cared for him as a friend was this conversation between her and Kisses in the girl’s bedroom that goes like this:

Kisses: Sabi nya ate May, ‘You’re not Paulo and you will never be Paulo. Tapos nandon si Edward. Kung ikaw yon ate may? (referring to Heaven practicing a dialogue with Marco).

Maymay: Supportahan na lang natin si Edward. Kung masaya man sya, maging masaya tayo para sa kanya. Kung malungkot man sya iparamdam natin na nandyan tayo para sa kanya. Kasi si Paulo ilang buwan na ba niya kilala tapos si Edward? Kasi si Edward hulog na hulog na sya. Basta tayo nandito para sa kanya.

I would need the video for the exact conversation but it was almost like this. Some say it was backstabbing the other housemate. For me, it was Maymay and Kisses showing concern for the person they are closer to. Because that’s the way Maymay is, she doesn’t do things half-heartedly and that includes loving and caring for a friend.

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  1. Never say die, never give up attitude.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a task she’s good at or a task which is not at all her forte. Hindi uso kay MayMay ang salitang hindi ko kaya. Kaya ko yan. Kaya natin yan. Kakayanin natin yan. Those are the only words you will ever hear from her. Kahit minsan parang imposible. Ang maganda sa kanya, she’s not just words. Her words come with determined action. Kung ano ang sinasabi nya, iyon din ang ginagawa nya. And that’s what make her succeed in every task kuya has ever thrown at them. The Pageant, the Army Mission and even the Domino tower tasks that were not her comfort zone, we saw how determined she was to win them all.

  1. She’s a dreamer and she never lost sight of them and who she’s dreaming it for.

    I always admire people who dream big dreams and work hard to reach them. Watching Maymay everyday has given me inspiration to fight for my dreams and work hard even for those dreams I have let go because it deemed impossible. At kahit mahirap, lagi syang determinado kasi hindi nya nakakalimutan kung para saan ang mga ipinaglalaban niya sa buhay. At hindi rin siya nakakalimot magpasalamat at makaappreciate kapag naabot nya ang mga pangarap nya.

  2. There is no such thing as language barrier when it comes to her.

Never mind if she can’t speak English well. Never mind that her tagalog is not at best either. Her love and care for people transcend barriers including language barriers. Maria and Stephanie was a testament to that when she got very close to them in a short amount of time and let them feel the love that a Maymay Entrata can give. With her personally, she can make everyone feel loved and welcome no matter where you came from. And I think if you can’t feel that, the problem was probably on you and not her.

Actually, I believe her personality even cross tv screens. That’s why she’s loved by many. And that includes me.

9. She’s beautiful, strong and independent.

Actually, this was how Maria described her when she was asked about MayMay. 70+ days of watching her every day and I couldn’t agree more. Maymay is all this and more.

10. She’s a certified happy pill.

Some people say she’s over reacting lalo napag may artista na involved. For me she’s being real. All her antics and reactions always made me laugh to boot from day one till the present. She’s so fan to watch because just watching her is enough to relieve a stressful day of work. Kiber na kung mukha man siyang baliw, buang o ano pa man. Hindi niya iniisip kung ano ba magiging hitsura nya. Basta kung ano reaction nya the moment something happened, yon na yon. Buang na kung buang. It’s probably this reason that kuya enjoys having her in the confession room so much. Kung nanonood ka ng livestream, alam mo na it always takes her forever bago lumabas kapag pinapatawag sya ni kuya. And to those who watch PBB, I’m sure whether you like MayMay or not you can’t deny that there are times that she made you laugh too.

But even though she’s such a funny girl, makikita mo din yung depth ng character niya. Like when Lolo Joe happened. She tried to be so strong and tried to smile sa kabila ng pinagdadaanan niya and for me that was really inspiring. The way she boost the confidence of Vivoree when she was crying because she felt short at being a leader, when she was advising Kisses about love and moving on. Her not so 19 year old antics makes us so happy but she can also show us that she’s also really a 19 years old that has a wisdom of someone older than her age. She’s mature enough to know her priorities and enough of a child in her to see the beauty of life despite her life’s tragedies. I think it’s because of these things that she can make people happy. Her beautiful soul carries her through and that reflects in her attitude and radiates to people.

I’ve been a fan of PBB since season 1 but among all the seasons, I admire MayMay the most. As a fan of PBB, I can whole heartedly say that Mary Dale Entrata is one of the best things that happened to PBB.

Note:

  • I know we all have opinions, and we all have bets. I respect yours but please respect mine. I wrote this to express my opinion about why I support Maymay and love her. No hate.
  • All conversations are not exact, I wrote them as I remember them.
  • I’ll try to add video links if I can find them.
  • Credits to the owners of the pictures that I borrowed.

P.S.

If any of you have a link to videos of scenes, kindly send them to me so I can add the link in her. Thank you very much!

2016: Reflections Vol 1: Two Years and a Thousand Likes

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2016: Reflections Vol 1: Two Years and a Thousand Likes

 

I can’t even believe it’s been two years already. The first year I became a blogger but likes kept dancing around 800 and I figured I won’t really get past that anymore. To reach 1000 during my 2-year bloggiversary celebration was like the icing to the cake. It’s little thing, but it made me so happy.

Before I became a book blogger, I only blog about my life and all the boring stuff that I did. I used to have a reflections corner that I do every week. So now I’m bringing my reflections corner to my book blogging life. It’s not much but here’s my first blog for the year and the random things I realized over the last few weeks:

1. EDITING is a tough subject to discuss in the indie community. I don’t really know why they’re having all the fuss. About whether self-editing is enough or not. Or that if hiring an editor is really necessary. I don’t even know why some authors think that editing is all about grammars and punctuations. But I don’t want to go on a debate on my first item (insert nervous laugh). Here’s a fact I know from a friend who’s working in  a publishing house: When a manuscript is submitted, it first go to an editor to read the story and check if it gets approve (for publishing), revise or rejected. If it’s for revision they will return it to you with the comments on why you need to revise it and it could take several revisions until the editor is satisfied then it’ll get approved. Once it gets approved, it goes to the proofreader to check for grammars, language, punctuations and all that technical stuff.  Then it’ll go to the copy-editor to give a run through if the proofreader did the job well. Then it’ll go back to the editor who approves it for final checking. If the editor is satisfied, it goes to the lay outing and then scheduled for printing. That’s in trade publishing.

I think indies have advantage over one aspect, you never have to feel what’s it’s like to get rejected by an editor. If you hire an editor it’s all about polishing your work and not about giving them the choice whether to publish it or not. I’m losing my point though, all I really want to say, is that you should never diminish the value of an editor’s job. Because some of the post and comments I’ve seen with regards to this topic makes want to cringe.

The truth is, I had one book published by a local publisher and I had 9 rejections before I got that one. I had to revise it 3 times before my editor was satisfied and to be honest, all the things I had on my rejections? I often see it in books that I’ve read and sometimes those editor comments are part of my guidelines in judging a book when I review them but more so when I beta read them.

  1. Promoting. I did a spotlight feature this week on my blog and I still have a few authors lined up for this week. I realized over this week that it’s a lot easier for me to promote a book that have read than those that I haven’t. My opinion hardly matters but it’s still easy to say something good about the book regardless of whether I enjoyed it or not if I know how the story goes. I actually wanted to read at least one book of the authors I highlighted this week but my time is just not that many. But maybe next time I can do that.
  2. Struggles. I know authors have struggles and we bloggers have too. This struggles almost made me want to close down this blog two times in the last two years. But I guess I won’t be having those thoughts any longer. Because now I have more blogger friends. I can just bitch to them how I feel and I know they’ll understand. And maybe they’ll bitch with me about it.
  3. Helping authors. I hope that my blogging help authors. I’m not really sure I’m doing a good job at it. This week when I did a spotlight, I had two people pm-ed me and said that they are not really sure if they want to read this author’s book but with all that I’m saying in my spotlight they decided to finally buy the book. I’m not if they really bought the book. But I hope they did. Because that would feel like I finally did something right. Because honestly, I’m not sure I know what I’m doing half the time. I don’t know if other bloggers feel the same way. It’s been two years but I’m still making things up as I go and sometimes, I feel as lost as when I started this thing.
  4. Reviews. I used to get books to reviews through a tour company. Now I only reviews request made to my blogsite. Sometimes, an author will message me and say, ‘I’ve been following your reviews on goodreads’ and I don’t know if I should be happy about it. I’m part happy but then I always have a feeling no one really read those reviews and they are only saying that to get me to agree to a review. Sorry I’m so jaded. But I’m easy, I always ended up saying yes. Saying no to an author is a real struggle for me. I could be all jaded about all these nice things they say on their emails but even if I don’t believe them (they could be sending the same email to a hundred other bloggers) I always find myself saying yes. Unless I’m too busy and see the email a month later. I would be then too shy to respond on it. If you don’t get a response from me, well, that’s why.

 

I’m running out of things to say. I made a mental note before I went to bed but I guess the dreams washed the list away. Hopefully, I can write another one of this. I really want to make this a thing on my blog. But right now, I have to keep my fingers cross about it. I hope I didn’t bore you with my rambling. If anybody is reading this at all, that is.

 

 

Thanksgiving

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Someone once said that the fact that we set aside a day to celebrate something means that it’s not normal. That is why it needs to be highlighted and recognized. Does that mean we are not normally thankful so there needs to be a day set for giving thanks?

 

Which made me wonder, why is there a Thanksgiving holiday? I’m not American or Canadian or European even. We don’t have that holiday here in our country. I don’t know if there’s such thing in other Asian countries but we don’t have that here in the Philippines.

When I worked in a BPO company serving American clients, I saw how important and celebrated Thanksgiving is. My ‘virtual office mates’ usually don’t take day offs even during holidays but when Thanksgiving is around, none of them remains in the office. Some of them are even gone as early as Monday.

But to answer my question at hand, I have another question. What exactly is Thanksgiving and how did it came to be (a holiday)? And here is what I found over the web.

 

According to my friendly web neighbor, Wikipedia, Thanksgiving Day is a federal holiday celebrated during the fourth Thursday of November in the United States and every second Monday of October in Canada.

According to history, Thanksgiving Day has been celebrated as a Federal Holiday since 1860s. However, the first record of it goes as far as 1621 when the Plymouth settlers held a harvest feast after a growing season.  There were several other celebrations since that year onwards celebrating Thanksgiving with regards to a bountiful harvest.

There is however a claim that the first Thanksgiving was actually celebrated on Feb 21, 1621 when a band of starving pilgrims at Plymouth Rock were saved at the last minute by the arrival of a ship from Dublin bearing food from Ireland. The Boston Post, the largest circulation newspaper in the 1920s and 1930s, discovered the earlier date for the Thanksgiving ritual. It showed that the traditional date of the autumn of 1621 was actually incorrect. According to the “Observant Citizen,” a columnist for the Boston Post, the Pilgrims in the winter of their first year were starving and faced the end of the their project to colonize the new world when “a ship arrived from overseas bearing the much needed food.” Because of anti-Irish prejudice at the time, the “Observant Citizen” neglected to name it as an Irish ship, but it was actually The Lyon and “its provenance and that of the food was Dublin Ireland.” It turns out, from records at the Massachusetts Historical Society, that the wife of one of the prominent Plymouth Rock brethren was the daughter of a Dublin merchant and that it was he who chartered the vessel, loaded it with food and dispatched it to Plymouth. The “Observant Citizen,” whoever he was, never admitted the Irish connection, even though a number of Irish organizations challenged him on the issue. Nonetheless, the Massachusetts historical records revealed the tale, giving the Irish a fair claim to saving Thanksgiving.

During the American Revolutionary War, the Continental Congress appointed one or more thanksgiving day each year observed accordingly to different states. The first national proclamation of which given by the Continental Congress in 1777 from York, Pennsylvania.

From then, several national days of prayers and thanksgiving was proclaimed throughout the years.

Inn 1863 during the middle of the American Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving day to be celebrated on the Last Thursday of November. From then on, Thanksgiving day was observed annually throughout United Stated.

All succeeding presidents followed Lincoln’s example and declared Thanksgiving day during the final Thursday of November. However in 1939, November had five Thursday and so President Franklin D. Roosevelt broke the tradition and declared the fourth Thursday as Thanksgiving day instead of the last. It was the time of The Great Depression and President Roosevelt thought that an earlier Thanksgiving would give merchants more time to sell until Christmas.

Republicans decried the change as an offense to the memory of Lincoln and this resulted to people calling November 30 as Republican Thanksgiving and November 23 as Democratic Thanksgiving.

1941, Thanksgiving became a matter of the law when both houses signed a joint resolution fixing the Thursday date of thanksgiving and finally declaring that it will observed every fourth Thursday of November starting 1942. Since 1942 up to present, Thanksgiving Day is observed on the fourth Thursday of November.

 

Regardless of how Thanksgiving came to be, I think it is not so bad to have a special day set aside to celebrate it. We’re humans and we’re all sinners. One thing all of us are probably guilty of is taking for granted the things we are blessed with. More often than not, from the moment we open our eyes in the morning, our thoughts are directed to the things we have to accomplish for the day or the troubles and problems we need to find solutions for. It may sound bad that most of the days of the year we are an ungrateful lot even when we don’t mean to be ungrateful.

Sometimes because of our temperament, we could always think of what is missing. We tend to whine and complain and we totally get blinded and forget the blessings that is given to us every day and one of them is to be able to open your eyes and live another moment.

We don’t remember every good thing that happens to us. And God is not even asking us to. Psalms 103:2 said, ‘Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.’ He’s not asking us to remember everything, just as long as we don’t forget them all. Whether you believe in God or not, I hope this holiday will give you time to reflect all the blessings and benefits you have received and thank the one who gave them be it Him or whatever higher power you believed in. May we be thankful not just for the things but also for the people that made our good days special and bad days bearable.

Here’s a couple of things that have marked with me with regards to giving thanks:

  • If you cannot be grateful for all the good things God bless you, you should at least be thankful for the troubles that He doesn’t send.
  • There was this text message that said, “Don’t be sad when all your dreams never come true. Just be grateful that your nightmares don’t.”

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

Thanks

Other Thanksgiving blog post

28×22: 28 Experiences That Will Stay with Me Forever

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This will be the 6th year since I started this tradition of writing a list of something once a year. And as the years go by, it’s getting harder to find topics I can make a list of and talk about. I don’t know what hit me that I ended up making this list because honestly, it scares the living daylights out of me. Much more than my normal lists, this one is almost like a confession. I might be revealing a bigger part of me than I normally do. Why did I say that? Because some of the things on this year’s list are things I have never told anyone before. Not a living soul, that is. My only consolation is that, nobody really pays attention to my blog posts so I’m still safe. Probably. At least, I’ll be able to keep up with my yearly ritual. So without further ado, let me start ‘listing’ 28 Experiences I’ll always remember (in no particular order).

28×22: 28 Experiences That Will Stay with Me Forever

  1. Failing the CPA Board Exam when I was 22.

When I look back at it now, part of it was really hilarious than heartbreaking. You see, I don’t like other people seeing me cry. When I found out that I failed, my first thought was to go somewhere no one can see me crying. Guess where I went? The cinema. I paid for the movie that was showing right that instant and cried myself in the dark.

I was in a bout of depression after that. I didn’t really know I was depressed but looking at it now, I definitely was. I hate myself too much at that time and I can’t even pull myself to do something useful. In fact, I sleep at night wishing that tomorrow just won’t come. Pathetic, I know. Depression is a real thing. I even contemplated on suicide at some point but I guess I don’t want hell. That and I’m too coward to actually do it.

Sometime along those days, I had a huge fight with my sister. She told me really really mean and hurtful things which I know she really thinks about me. I was so hurt and angry I told my dad I’m going back to the city. I was partly running away. But it actually did me good. I was able to start anew and pull myself together.

  1. Watching Shrek 2

This is partly the reason why I can’t forget #1. It was the movie in the cinema I paid for when I decided to cry myself in darkness. I didn’t know it was what the cinema was showing. Everyone inside the cinema were laughing their hearts out while I was crying. The funny part? There was a couple sitting right in front of me. And every time I sniff and blow my nose, the guy kept looking back at me. He must be thinking I was crazy. I can’t see his expression and I don’t really care that time, but I could feel that the girl was sort of annoyed.

  1. Joining the school theater when I was in my junior year in high school

It was an amazing experience for me even if the memory was somehow tarnished by a couple of guys from my class who were such big emotional bullies. Man! They ruined my confidence big time. But then thanks to the guy from the theater who was not only good looking but a great morale booster as well I was able to pull myself through the night of our last performance. Too bad I can’t remember his name anymore.

  1. When one of my high school teacher told my other high school teacher something bad about me.

This one happened by accident. I was going to the faculty office to clarify something with one of my teachers but before I entered I heard my name being mentioned so I did what most people do. I eavesdropped. Oh I was shocked. This teacher was always sweet and nice to me it really caught me off guard hearing her bad mouthing me to the other teacher. Don’t get me wrong, I am not so above myself to believe that everyone will like me. In fact the opposite is what always happened. But I just felt betrayed because I’ve been so genuine towards her with all my interactions with . I was really hurt hearing her talked that way about me. I don’t think I ever gave her a real smile after that incident.

  1. Getting kicked out of the school paper when I was in grade school.

Our newspaper advisor got promoted and transferred to a different school. The new one and I, well not really new as she was my homeroom teacher, we don’t see eye to eye. We get on each other’s nerve. She doesn’t like me probably because I speak my mind too much which often times do not agree with her. I don’t like her because she always play favorite and give credit to people who don’t do real work and just kiss her ass. I was 12. And when I disagreed with her again, she told me that I can always quit if I can’t accept her terms. I quit. The really annoying part? All the articles that I wrote before I leave the paper, she put it there under someone else’s name and she didn’t even named me contributor.

  1. Getting bullied in grade school.

I guess at this point, you can say that grade school is not a happy memory for me. I was bullied almost every day of my grade school life. I had this classmate who breaks any of my new stuff just because. Almost every guy in the class calls me name for their past time. It was terrible years for me. If I could ever go back to my past, I’ll definitely not go back to those years.

  1. First Day of High School

All the firsts in my life made an impact that will forever be remembered. Beginning my high school life is one of those. Most kids who start high school are excited about it. You know, new environment, new friends, and maybe a sense of being older than what you really are. Me? I was scared. I was so scared I almost want to tell mom if it’s possible not to go. Grade school has been pretty traumatic for me but along the years I have learned to handle all of that. High School, well I felt like there’ll be bigger bullies since it’s a bigger school. And I don’t know if I can handle that. I was anxious from the time I took my exam to that time I step in school for the first day. It went well. Shocking I know. I put up my wall and pretend that if I know more than I really do, maybe my classmates will think I am someone they can’t mess with. It worked for quite some time. But that wall came back like a boomerang on me on my junior year causing me to deal with bigger bullies I dealt with in grade school.

  1. Being named editor in chief in our high school newspaper

It’s not as exciting as any other event in my life. In fact I didn’t even expect to have it. I guess after what I experience from grade school I just tried not to expect that much anymore. But I remembered it well. Maybe because it proved me that I can be wrong about the people around me. I didn’t expect the people around me to be happy by that news either. But they were. Somehow, I felt like it was the good karma for what happened to me before.

  1. Being bullied in high school

If I thought that being bullied at age 9 until 12 was bad, man! I was wrong. Being bullied when you are fifteen was a lot worse. I think it’s because looking back at it, I could tell myself that I was bullied before because my classmates were childish and that they don’t really know what they are doing. They are kids. But the same self-consoling can’t be applied when you are fifteen. You’re old enough to know if you are doing something wrong by then. And what hurts most was that these people who bullied me, they are the same people I put my lunch breaks and go home much later than usual after school just so I can help them understand physics and chemistry or trigo and algebra. They are the same people I wasted time making reviewers for just so I can help them improved their grades. And hearing them talk nasty shit behind my back and I mean literally behind my back, I felt so used and I felt so stupid for trusting the wrong people. And I hated myself for not learning from what I’ve experienced before and made a laughing stock of myself.

  1. The guy who helped me regained my confidence when I was 15.

By now I guess it’s appropriate to say that I have the knack of meeting assholes in my life. By the time I was 15 I almost hate men. Almost because my best friend was a guy so I can’t totally just go hating all of them. But really, after being bullied in high school I don’t want to be in speaking distance with a guy except for my best friend. Then summer came and I met this guy. He was three years my senior. He’s not really tall, but dark and handsome. He was really good looking. Everyone in their circle of friend was. But I don’t like talking with boys and men at that point. But I could tolerate watching them. Because I love basketball. And this guy, he was just so nice and always has a smile for everybody. We didn’t really became friends. But every time I saw him he will always smile at me and tell me hello. Even if I try to pretend that I didn’t see him. And when there’s a chance he would even spend time making small talk with me and tell me jokes. Well, clearly, I had a crush on him even if I don’t want to. I guess it was destiny telling me that not all men are bad and that there are still men out there who could still be nice to me and treat me good even if I’m not beautiful and even if I can’t help them in their exams and home work. It must look like something so shallow but back then it was big deal to me. To someone whose confidence and trust in people was in the verge of shattering to nothingness, he came like a savior. And I will forever remember him for that.

  1. When my mom told me to never cry when I had a fight with somebody

If I’ll rank my list, this will probably be number 1. I was 9. I went home crying because I had a fight from the school bullies. I didn’t remember what exactly happened in school. All I remember was that I wanted so bad to be home to tell my mom what happened. I was expecting her to console me and comfort me with her words and maybe a hug wouldn’t be bad too. But as I entered the door she was in hysterics asking me what happened so I told her. But the words of comfort and the hug didn’t come. She went on a roll nagging me why I didn’t fought back, and that why did I just cried. Her exact words, “Kapag inaway ka, awayin mo rin. Hindi ‘yong iiyak ka lang.” (When somebody fight you, fight back. Don’t just cry.) I was so upset after having that talk. No hugs. No comforting words. No telling me it’s okay. But when I grew up, those words have been my strength. Looking back at it reminds me that crying won’t get you anywhere. And that I should fight my battles and not let them win easily. To fight when I believe I’m right. It’s the same reason I don’t ever want other people to see my tears.

  1. My first love.

Of course most of you who knows me knew that tragic story of my first love. It’s the usual I love him, he loves somebody else sort of thing. There was a point that I actually thought I could have a chance with him. But I got scared. And gave up. Then he found someone else. He’s happily married now. And I’m happy for him too. After everything that he went through, he deserves to finally have that happiness and more. I moved on. It took me a while. There was even a point where I wondered if I really ever will. Time flies, seasons change and you get to meet new people along the way. It wasn’t an easy journey but I guess time heals all wounds. Now I can go back through the memories without feeling sad or hurt about it.

  1. My first boyfriend.

“I remember the boy, but I don’t remember the feelings anymore.” I guess this would be apt. I may not remember anymore that kind of feeling I had the first time I was in a relationship but I will forever remember that person I was with in it. He’s a great guy. He’s the first guy who ever made me feel beautiful and loved. But then I was young and I was afraid to make mistakes. I don’t really know how to handle a relationship back then. I let him go. And I guess I won’t really ever be able to return the kind of love that he has for me so it’s just right to let him go. Last I heard, he’s married now with one kid.

  1. That guy who is now in that happy place

He’s probably the person in my life I never really told anyone about. It’s probably because we met in the most unconventional way and I’m afraid my friends would judge me on the way it happened so I never really had the courage to talk to people about him. Until now. The way I met him an accident. And I never even want to talk to him when I met him. Except that he was persistent. I guess he was bored and he probably thought it will be a great past time to annoy a stranger. But eventually I warmed up to him. He was six years older than me but it was not a problem for us to become really good friends. We even went to a couple of friendly dates. In fact the first time I experienced being on a date, friendly or otherwise was the first time we went out. We only had two because I was busy with studies and he was busy with work. He was in their family’s business. But we always talk on the phone. We never went beyond being friends. He was like my breather when school became too much and I guess I was the same for him when stress with work became too much for him. We were each other’s stress reliever. About a year after the last time we went out, he told me he’s going away. He said he’s going to visit his mom. I’m not really sure I believed him. We lost touch after that. Almost a year later when I’ve almost forgotten about his existence, my phone rang with his number on it. It was a day I’ll never forget. It was November 1 when I got that call. I thought the call was because he was back. But no. The person on the other line was his brother. And he called to tell me he was gone forever. And now that I’m writing this, I feel guilty. I realized I can’t remember his last name any longer. But to the guy who cheered me up when I felt that I can’t keep up with my classmates at school, or when I failed a test, got shamed on by my professor because I didn’t know the answer, the guy who was simply there when I needed someone to listen. Thank you. I may not remember your last name anymore but the rest of you is etched on my heart forever.

  1. The people I met last year through PBB.

I never even thought that PBB could play a part in my life. It was a television show. But mutual love for this show had led me to meeting people whom I was able to share a part of myself not many people know. And it’s nice that despite being what I am, they have accepted me and became good friends who were there to listen and talk even if it’s not about the show anymore. They were the people who were there when times were tough and friends were too far. It was memorable too because it was where I learned that online tones can be easily misconstrued. Remember to use the smiley from time to time.

  1. Meeting Rafael Rosell in person

All my friends and my family knows that I’m a huge Rafael Rosell fan. It’s been fourteen years now but I can still remember clearly how I became a fan. That’s why when I met him the first time in 2010, I was ecstatic. I wasn’t able to sleep that night. But I guess aside from that thrill and happiness of meeting that person you admired for so long, it became more memorable because of the friends I gained because of that night that I met him.

  1. Attending a writing workshop at PHR

It was not really the workshop that got stuck with me but the people I met there. It’s the place where I met someone and became good friends with and I know that this person will always be there for me through thick and thin. If it weren’t for that workshop, I’m not sure we’ll ever cross path. And there are a couple more people I met from there that are now an important part of my life. Attending that workshop was like a milestone. It was also that workshop that made me realized how much I love to write even though I can hardly do that now.

  1. My first day on my first job.

I was an accounting assistant on my first job. It was a lending company. I only stayed there for half a year but the experienced I gained from there felt like I worked there for years. It was a great experienced. The people there were nice too. If it weren’t for the fact that I can hardly feed myself with the salary I was getting, I’m probably still there. It was where I learned to deal with clients, collectors and officemates. It was where I learned what it feels to be a working girl. A working girls whose efforts on the job gets appreciated by the people around her.

  1. My last day on my last job

My last job was a total opposite of my first job. From the position I was in up to the people around me, it was like two ends of a pole. I stayed for more than two years but looking back at it, it felt shorter. I have this notion that it’s the way God helps us through our battles. He makes the enjoyable feel longer even if they are short and the hellish ones feel shorter. Sometimes when I look back I wonder if I regret ever resigning from that position. I can’t deny I was receiving better salaries then. But man, the stress and depression it got me into was nothing but hell. I don’t smoke. But during that time that I was so stressed, I kind of realized why some people do. There was a point my stress level was bigger than me I feel like joining those people doing ‘yosi breaks’ wondering if popping out a smoke would take some of it off. Of course I didn’t. Aside from all the side effects and what not I’m allergic to it. But yes I survived. Some people may think I was a coward for handing in a resignation than enduring it all but I felt free after I did that. No more working the extra mile just so people could take credit for your work. No more dealing with asshole bosses, no more begging for something that should have been mine in the first place. If politics is bad enough, work politics is even worse. I don’t think I’ll ever want to be in that road again.

  1. Getting my manuscript approved.

This is something I continue to struggle with and as long that I aspire to be an author, I would always have to deal with this. And I guess it’s okay. Out of 8 manuscript I have written I only had one approved and published. And it was such a great feeling I can still remember every bit of when it happened. If I need to get rejected another 8 times before I get that one approval, it’s worth it. It’s worth the struggle. Well, of course it would be better if I get less rejection and more approval. I guess what I’m really trying to say is, I’m still here and I won’t give up. It may be taking me longer time to write the next one but slowly, I’m getting back to that old me who get inspired and write just out of anything.

  1. My Grandma’s Death.

My grandma’s (on my father’s side) death was not the first death in the family but it caused the most impact on me. First because I loved her very much and a lot of people do. Her death was not only our loss but a loss to a lot of people whose life was touched by her love and generosity. Second, as creepy as it sound, is because a few weeks before her death I’ve been dreaming that someone will die. It’s not the first time that it happened either. The difference was, my dream didn’t show me exactly who was dying. There was even a point that I thought it might be me. It was around Christmas. The dreams had me agitated and anxious. To let that feeling out, I made Christmas cards for all my family and friends and bought gifts for those I love dearly. I was thinking, if it’s me whose gonna die, at least they will know I love them. Two weeks before Christmas my grandma was hospitalized. I was the only one who wasn’t able to take care of her and I felt so bad. But she got through that and I said to myself, maybe the dream was false alarm even though that nagging feeling won’t go away. A week before Christmas and it’s vacation already. A flood broke out in my province. I can’t go home. There was a typhoon too. I badly want to be home. Dad said I need to wait because the ships are not making trips one almost sunk. I got more agitated. I want to insist on going home but then that dream, I felt like I’ll make it come true if I push through. I got home a few days later. I was safe. Everyone was too. I told myself again, false alarm. And Christmas came and was gone. I gave my grandma the card I made for her. She died the day after Christmas. Until now, I remember very well the things that transpired that night. But above all things, I will forever remember how even through her death she showed us how much life she had touched, how many people she inspired and that though she was gone her legacy and inspiration will continue to live on.

  1. Getting Angry.

I feel it’s so wrong to talk about anger just right after talking about my grandma. Because I know she wouldn’t like what I’ll be saying next if she knew. But I’m running out of entries and this is what came to my mind. So… anger. I’m bad at handling anger. I’m vengeful and I keep grudges pretty well which is not pretty at all. But you know, I think God gave me the kind of patience that I have so I could compensate the way I handle my anger. I’m a very patient person. I don’t get angry easily. In all my years of existence I’ve only been angry four times. I still remember all of them well. I’ve healed for the other three event that it happened even though it took me a long while. The recent one was not so easy to forget, much more to forgive. And I realized that it’s even harder to forgive people who’s not even sorry. I’m trying, really but it is so hard. I know it’s wrong to keep that anger in me. It’s not healthy and it’s a sin. Hopefully by the grace of God, one of these days I’ll get there.

  1. Family Trips.

My dad’s side of the family love going into trips. Since 2008, we had 3 family trips. That meant uncles, aunties, cousins and siblings all together in an out of town sort of family reunion. It was always so fun to spend time with them. I and my cousins practically grew up like siblings but there’s something on a trip that lets you get to know them more. My aunts and uncles too. I learned that there are some with anxieties with regards to travelling by sea or air. Some of them a little kill joy and mood killer at times, some can walk forever it was almost hard to keep up, some who are definitely the life of the journey. More than the wonderful place that we get to visit, the bonding moments are really priceless.

  1. Walking the streets of Hong Kong alone.

It’s been in my bucket list to travel alone. And though I didn’t really planned on going to Hong Kong alone, it was self-satisfying to know that I manage a day in a foreign country all by myself. Of course, I had help from a few Filipino there with directions and instructions (I can’t read Chinese) but still I went from one place to another and explored the place with just me, myself and I. It’s not as fun when you travel with a friend with you. But since it’s on my bucket list, I felt like I achieved something when I did it. And thank goodness I didn’t get lost. Almost every Chinese I talked to started with “no engrish, no engrish!” and it was so hard to communicate with hand gestures.

  1. My tutee.

When I was in college, I worked part-time as a tutor. One of the kids I was tutoring for was a high school student. I can’t remember his name. His size was thrice mine. But I remember him the most among those I tutored for. Maybe because he was the oldest among them and he was the only one bigger than I am among them. It made me feel accomplished that I was able to exercise authority to someone so much bigger than I am. And well the fact that I really helped improving his grades felt so good. That meant they didn’t waste money hiring me and that I know what I was doing.

  1. Passing the Civil Service Exam

For some people passing the civil service exam may sound petty. Compared to board exams and some other exams, the civil service exam may not be as much as a big deal. However, after failing the CPA board exam, I felt like it would be utterly stupid of me if I failed this one too. Like I would really be a total loser if I did. Add to that the fact that every family member who took that exam passed it. The day after the exam, I failed so drained. I don’t know how it was no big deal, it was hard. For me it was. Maybe not as hard as the CPA board but those who told me it was easy was lying, deep within me I’m hoping I made it but I’m scared to checked the results too. That’s why I was so relieved that I passed.

  1. The year I turned 20 and 23

Some people remembered their 18th birthday the most. The day I turned 18 was no different than an ordinary day. I was even at work and had no time to celebrate it. But the year I turned 20 and 23, a very dear friend surprised me. When I turned 20, I decided to really celebrate it. I was so stressed with school and my thesis and the people I am with that time didn’t make it easier for me. When my birthday came, I decided to prepare something and invited a few friend. But I was so surprised when the number of people came were too much for the space that our little apartment could accommodate. 23 was a little different. It was my first week on my first job and I didn’t even remembered that it was my birthday. I came home to be surprised that my cousin prepared something for me. And that friend who surprised me before came with an ice cream and cake and another friend. It was one of the best birthdays I had.

  1. TODAY.
    I’m supposed to list 28. There are more I can list down but I don’t really know how to express them in words. So I decided that the 28th is a blank page. Today, I will fill it with another memory that I’ll never forget. It’s been a while but maybe I don’t need to wait to be thirty to celebrate that I am still alive. So instead of an experience, I give my thanksgiving. For this life, for all the blessings, for all the wonderful people in my life that multiplied that blessings and for you who have given me inspiration for the past year. And if anyone actually took time to read this, thank you! It doesn’t always happen but if ever it does, thank you for wasting some of your time to read something about me.

If you get to this point, that meant you were able to endure reading bits and pieces of the last 28 years of my life. I know I don’t exactly lead an exciting life. It’s pretty boring actually. But it was years full of learning for me. Thank you for staying and enduring the details of my life even though it would not benefit nor entertain you

~shy
9/22/15.

Random Thoughts Volume 5

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These thoughts are not really random but I can’t think of a title for it I decided to put it on my random headings. I don’t really know how to say this but I know I want to, so yeah, maybe somehow, it’s still done randomly.

You know, I have always wondered how my mom and dad came to be together. Well, I know my dad courted my mom sometime during their high school year and got together during their college years; I never really bothered asking mom. We’re not very close any way so I think the opportunity to do so just didn’t really happen.

And I’m having all these thoughts now inside my head because, mom and dad are like the opposite sides of a spectrum. Dad had been always so sweet, and patient and understanding but when he gets angry, man! until now at my age, I am still afraid of dad when he’s angry and I still don’t ever want to make him mad because of anything that I did. Most people think that my dad is scary. Probably because of the authority in his voice in he speaks. Or the way he stands. He has this amazing ability to get attention of people in a room and get them to listen to him. I think it’s the leader in him and people are probably not really scared but instead, it’s respect to what he is and what he is capable of as a leader. But well, there’s still that scary impression to those who don’t know him. I think the right term really is, suplado. A lot of people thinks he is suplado when first meeting him.

Mom on the other hand, she’s short tempered. She gets angry easily and stays angry a long time. She’s sweet in her own way but since we didn’t really got close until I am an adult I don’t really know how to deal with her ‘paglalambing’. But mom is very charming compared to my dad. She’s really good at drawing people in and make them feel comfortable. In fact, every classmate/friend that I brought home always said my mom is so nice and sweet with a side note in a whisper ‘your dad is scary and intimidating’. It’s funny because I personally think my dad’s a lot nicer than my mom. Well, I could be bias too since I’m a daddy’s girl.

That said, I always wondered how they managed to stick together. They’d be 30 years married in January. You know I’ve only ever seen my dad lost his temper when my mom gets antsy and ended up nagging him. They never really fought in front of us so I don’t know what causes those times but I’m guessing it’s my mom. That or dad went home drunk the night before. One thing I remember very clearly was  my dead saying that it’s okay to fight over little things or big things but never ever fight because of money. Relationships are more important than that. Which, I am realizing just now is very ironic considering the situation I’ve been into with someone for the past few months which until now is weighing heavily on my shoulder.

Anyway, I’m not really here to talk about me. I know I’m boring you (if ever there is a you) but this is really about mom and dad. So I’ll get back to it.

Yesterday, mom went to the doctor because she’s been bleeding for a month already. If there’s one thing mom hates the most, I think it’s going to the doctor alone. I have an errand to do and I wasn’t able to accompany her. I received a text around lunch time asking me where I am. I just got home by then. I asked her why and she said, she was hoping to have lunch with me. Turns out it was not really the reason.

An hour after lunch, dad came home and told me he was going to town. I got confused, I went to the town because he wasn’t available so I did the things he needs to do there for him. If he was planning to go there shouldn’t he have told me earlier? I felt like I wasted my time.

He didn’t tell me that mom asked him to go with her at the doctor. Turned out he doctor told mom her myoma got worse and advised her to undergo hysterectomy. She even went to a second doctor but she said the same thing. If there’s another difference between mom and dad, it’s the way they worry. Mom worries about everything and this clearly worried her a lot. Dad on the other hand, even if this seem to worry him too, most of the time, he’s this person who sees beyond the worry and look for the positive things that happened and that might happen from any given situation.

And looking and listening to the two of them yesterday, I guess this is what made them stick together. They complement each other well. I fill each others short comings and gives strength to their weaknesses. And most of all, I realized how much they love each other. My mom and dad is not the type of people to display affection. It’s part of the things I often wonder, you know… if now that their children has grown up and all that how do they really feel? But today’s events answered those question and much more. More than anything, they need each other. Either to give each other strength for times like this, or just so that my mom could have someone to nag so she can get over whatever it is that is annoying her or making her antsy or when dad needs to be reminded that he needs to moderate on the drinking thing.

It’s still amazing how they get along with all those differences and love each other despite that. Love do moves in mysterious ways. I just hope and pray that this love keep them strong, and that that Dad’s love and support would keep mom strong to overcome this struggle.

Random Thoughts: It’s July… Again

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July has always been a hard month for me for four years now. Especially this week. I almost always get depress every time this time of the year has arrived. And today is no different. Have you ever felt happy and sad at the same time? Thinking about things you want to regret but not really? Hoping you could bring back yesterday but also know deep down that it’s not going to change so having today as it is is better?

I’m feeling all of that. And more.

I know I promised I will be okay, I’ll work on getting better without you. And I know it’s been a slow process but if you could see me now you’ll be proud that I somehow did. I hope you are.  Yet, I find that I still can’t help but cry every time I remember this day. And I just realized that reading a book with an emotional roller coaster inside is not helping me. I don’t know if you’re playing tricks on me but I seem to always pick the wrong book at this time of the year. I even wonder if it’s your way of making sure I remember.

But then I know you. I know you know I’ll never forget. And I know you’ll want me to be happy as I remember. I didn’t know how to do that before. But since last year, when you’ve sent some people (of course I want to believe that it’s your doing) to help me learn how to remember without hurting, made today better and easier than before. I may not be totally there yet, but I’m learning to let it go.

I guess, I just want to let it all out. And maybe pretend for a while that you are there listening while I rant how there’s always a gloomy weather on your birthday. Today’s not any different. There’s a storm brewing and lots of rain. I could almost see you teasing me because you know how I hate it. Though I can say that today, I appreciate it. And also let you know that I have found something new to have and hold which I’m sure you’ll approve. And that I miss you with a bit of sadness and without the heartache. And that I’m happy even if today I’m a bit blue. But I’m generally happy and I hope you are too.

All that rant and disorganized thoughts probably made you crazy.

Thank you. There may be a lot of things I wish I did but didn’t and vice versa. But I know one thing will always remain true. That I’m thankful to Him for you. For sending you my way in this lifetime. You’ll always be a special part of my life.

Happy Birthday!

7.7.15

~vs

Random Thoughts Volume Forgotten: Why Am I a Blogger?

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Random Thoughts Volume Forgotten: Why Am I a Blogger?

It’s been a year and a half since I started being a book blogger. Before that, this site was nothing but my home for all my randomness. Random thoughts, random ideas, and things I wanted to vent and rant about.

Until more than a year ago when an author so very dear to me asked if any of us have a blog and would like to share a word about an upcoming release. I thought to myself, ‘why not?’ After all, I rarely post anything on this page so I might as well have some use of it. That’s where my journey as a blogger began.

The road to being a blogger is not easy. I don’t know how my fellow bloggers do it as they seem to handle it perfectly well but for me it’s not an easy road. From random blogger to being a book blogger, I slowly paved my way through. On most days, it feels like I’m not really getting a word out to anybody. There are days though that it feels I have hit a jackpot. A couple of months after my first post, I’ve been a regular part of two Promotions Company and that was when I decided that having a facebook page for my blog a good idea. Not. The lack of reach on Facebook feels like a big slap on the face every time.  It’s been for that reason that I’ve been thinking for a while now of shutting it down.

So what did my year and a half as a blogger lead me to?

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself. Running a blog means taking a part of your time to spend in it. Allotting time to it is not really the problem but thinking of what content to put in aside from promoting authors that will gain attention that makes my head ache. Facebook really had screwed us big time. Though I feel like it might be just me and that maybe, I don’t really know what I am doing. If the number of likes prove the success, I’m clearly a failure. So yes, I’m probably dealing with all of these the wrong way.

Still, I love being a blogger. I love sharing about the authors and their books that I love. I love helping a new author even though on most days it seems like I am not helping at all (thank you, Facebook). A year and a half into blogging and my only success was being part of the blog tour I co-host with another blogger and my only part really was doing the cover photo for the tour and setting up the google sign-up form.

But despite the lack of reach on Facebook and even on wordpress (I’m not really sure I’m getting any even if the stats tells me otherwise), I’ve met some amazing author and bloggers along the way. I love reading. And I became a blogger because I love sharing about what I’ve read. And blogging open the doors for me to meeting new authors and their great books that I would probably not met at all if it weren’t for this blog where I am ask if I would mind sharing a word or reviewing the book.

I’ve seen some author drama and bloggers’ drama throughout the year, too. What I’ve learned? Problems would come through every facet of life, it’s up to you how you’ll handle them. I’ve seen things that turned nasty and ugly just because some authors don’t know how to behave publicly or how to deal with mean reviews. I’ve learned more about some of the authors I love and some I have unfollowed along the way. Some I’ve just read through review request but now I have come to love and religiously wait to one-click the next one. The Indie world is big enough it’s like being in a new world. Sometimes, there’s even more drama I feel like grabbing a popcorn as I watch. Better than watching a movie or a reality show!

Why am I saying all these?

Recently, something made me question why I do this and if it is still worth it. And as I typed everything above, the answer came to me. This may not be an easy road but I’m already here and I’m here to stay. Well, at least as long as you authors are out there, then I’m here. If you need any help (teasers, release day,  promo post) just message me. I’m easy. Except maybe posting teasers with naked man or woman on it. It’s not that I’m being a prude but as a reader I get excited over a book for the story and not for all the nakedness. That’s why I usually just make my own teasers to post. Request for reviews is open for those okay with September onwards (I’m booked until August) except for erotica and same sex romance . And if you have any suggestion please don’t hesitate to throw it in.

“Happiness is a cup of coffee and a really good book.”

(CTO)

(CTO)

Reflections Vol. 4: 27 Things I Will (Should) Never Forget

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Reflections Vol. 4: 27 Things I Will (Should) Never Forget

For the past few years, writing something like this has been a ritual. Last year though I wasn’t able to so this year, I’m bringing it back. I keep putting off writing something for my blog’s Reflection Corner for a month now so decided to incorporate them, thus the title.

1. God created me (well, technically my parents did), and that’s a blessing.
2. Prayer and devotion is the most important meal of the day.
3. Mothers knows best, even if at times it doesn’t feel like it.
4. You are a human being, therefore be humane.
5. While there’s life, there’s hope. As long as you have hope, you have life.
6. It is not stupid to commit mistakes, but repeating them over and over is.
7. Before judging other people, try to walk first in their shoes.
8. Sharing is caring. But not everything is meant to be shared.
9. The words panaginip & pangarap means the same in English but not to me. (ctto: don’t remember who said it but it kinda stuck and I agree)
10. Money doesn’t equate happiness.
11. Problems should be faced and not be Facebooked.
12. It’s not about how you look, but how you see; Not about how your hear but how you listen.
13. Things go wrong so that you’ll be able to appreciate when they go right.
14. Writing is not easy. But it’s always the rock of comfort I’ll run to when all else fails.
15. You can never be truly alone if you can talk to yourself.
16. Every morning you wake up is a reason to be thankful.
17. Feeling is something you don’t play with.
18. Understanding and Agreeing are totally different thing.
19. Always say NEVER. Never lose hope. Never quit. Never lose faith. Never give up.
20. Positive thoughts can work magic. You only got to try. And trust.
21. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and life is a matter of perspective.
22. Confidence gives us courage. Courage gives us strength. You should never go out on a battle without it.
23. Fight for what you believe is right even if you have to fight alone.
24. If you want to change, do it for yourself and not for other people.
25. Being older doesn’t always mean being right. Sometimes, you have to see things in the eyes of a child to truly understand.
26. You’re voice online doesn’t have a tone. Never underestimate how even a simple BRB can be misunderstood.
27. Decisions should not be made when you’re angry.

shyunique09
9.22.14

27 Facts About Me

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Since it’s supposedly my Birthday today according to my birth certificate, let me post something about me. Technically this is a repeat post since I posted something alike a few years back. This is however a viral stuff on facebook so I’m doing a cross-post here with a few additions.

Without further ado… Here are 27 Facts About Me

1. I AM A DREAMER. I list down the things that i wanted to become, i wanted to have, places i want to go, etc. Last i check, my list has now doubled from when I first wrote this and I ticked about just three of them off. Yeah, that made me feel like I’m such a loser.

2. MATARAY. The first impression most people have on me. I guess I am. You can add suplada and maldita to the list too.

3.THOUGHTFUL(daw).Well, I know i’m not a kind person. that’s one word I would never associate with myself but I do know how to care and appreciate people who matters to me.

4.LOYAL. This one pertains to me being a friend and a fan. I don’t easily become either. But once I do, I stay true. For always. Believe that you can count on me no matter what.

5.Okay.. the next one is something I’m not really proud of but it’s a very distinct character of mine. I’m pretty good at holding grudges. It take a whole lot before I get angry and before my patience wears off but when I do, I don’t easily forgive either. but hey! I’m trying my bestest to change. And by the grace of God, I know in due time, I will.

6.BULLIED. I was always the center of bullying when i was in grade school and high school. Recently I met someone who just made me realized how this thing affected my character. But well, that’s been ages ago and I actually want to thank the people who did that to me. Because of them, I am tougher than how I look.

7. CLOSET BIPOLAR.I dunno if there is such a thing, but now I’m telling you guys that there is. hahaha! Dear folks and friends, it’s high time you know that I’m actually crazy. And I mean next level kind of crazy and not the usual one. Though some of you probably know that already. Others have seen how it worked and some of you guessed that I am. Don’t worry though… pretty much I am just crazy, not insane.

8. I have two birthdays. Sometimes I forgot which one should I use in signing documents.

9. I am a FRUSTRATED EVERYTHING… writer, painter, photographer, artist and what have you.

10. I LOVE SINGING and music. the problem is, music in any form doesn’t seem to like me. I am the worst person anyone could ask to sing. That is why nobody dared to. lol!

11. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT JAPAN. I have this belief that I was Japanese in my past life even if my eyes would negate that. But then my twin from my past life have to be Japanese too for that to be a fact. (Hi, Kambal Cherry Anne , so what do you think? ) If not in my past life, I’m sure I am in my next one.

12.A POSITIVE PERSON. I am positive in almost everything in as much as me being a frustrated everything.

13. I don’t like having “what ifs”. Like what I’ve read a few days ago, regret is such a pointless emotion, and I agree.

14. I AM RAFAEL ROSELL FAN. He is my first celebrity crush and that’s way before he even became a celebrity- or at least he’s not yet a celebrity actor then. And we just turned 13 years last August. Hahaha! And yeah, that’s our little secret. So please… ssshhhhhh!

15. BOOKS MAKE ME HAPPY. Well, movies does too. But if you want to interest me, talk about books and I’ll be on the roll. I really love reading. I don’t even have a favorite genre, it only have to be interesting.
16.BARKING DOGS AND LIGHTNING. They are two things i am really really afraid of.

17. I hate cats in as much as i hate backstabbers and tupperware people.

18.I’m not really into sweets, but I love dark chocolates, truffles, mango cheesecake ice cream from DQ, blueberry cheesecake (or even just cheesecake), pizza, lasagna and pretty much anything that got cheese on it. But no, I believe I’m not a cheesy person.

19. I LOVE TO WRITE. I am a wanna be writer although lately, my writing took a different form. If I am not lazing around though, I find myself trying to finish a novel until the wee hours of the night or morning. Hopefully I’ll be done with it soon and more hopefully it’ll end to be somethin’ good.

20. I Hate the taste of ketchup in the morning. Fried Spam. Hotdogs, Sausages, eggs, all taste better with ketchup. But for some reason, my stomach can’t handle the taste of ketchup in the morning.

21. I’m an OLD SOUL. I’ve always think older than my age. Most of the time, I felt like I was born in the wrong era. Hahaha! That’s why I have lots of friends that are way older than me too. I even love classic movies, novels and songs. Yeah, definitely born in the wrong generation.

22. I LOVE THE SMELL OF PAPER. In this generation where,e-stuffs are everywhere, I’d say that still, nothing will beat the smell of books new or old. That smell of paper is just pure awesomeness. Not just books though, stationaries (that also seems to be outdated now) notepads, etc.

23. Hate Late. That sounds like a pizza ad but it’s true. I hate being late. When I have an appointment and I know I’m running late, my stress level rockets to the moon. I hate cramming too.

24. Straightforward. I’m an opinionated person and I tend to say my thoughts out loud. You can see me ranting about my general opinions on social media but when it concerns a person, I tell it straight on their face. I don’t sugarcoat stuff. When I became a working girl though, I found out that not all people like that. They’d rather be lied and talked behind their back than hear the truth. Well, not from me. And I expect people to be the same towards me.

25. I love sunsets, sunrise, and the stars. Every time I see sunrise, I am reminded of God’s blessing of a new day, sunsets on the other hand reminds me that whatever it is I am going through, it shall pass too. That and the beautiful scenery that sunrise and sunsets bring that just bring a different calmness within me. And though I only know a couple of constellations, there’s a beauty in watching the stars on a moonless night that just shows how great the Lord above is.

26. I love the beach. There’s a snag though about me loving the beach… I don’t know how to swim. It is ironic because I live in a place where there’s a lot of beach. I tried learning to swim, I really did but everytime I do, I end up drowning. So far the sake of having a longer life, I stopped trying.

27. OBSESS WITH LIST. I have a list of my dreams, a list of my book collections, cd collections. I love to jot down stuffs and they end up to be something’s list, like this one you just finish reading right now.

Well, that’s all folks.

Signing off for the night,
Shyunique_09

Jumbled Thoughts: Reflections of the Week Vol. 3

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Lately, there’s about a couple of friends who asked why I don’t blog anymore and said that they are waiting for the next one. I didn’t know that there are people who actually read them and waste time on my shared thoughts. Hahaha! So now here I am. I don’t really know how to say it because lately my head is in a big mess of confused and jumbled thoughts. There are however a few things that can’t be left unsaid, so I’m bringing back my reflections corner. Here’s a few things I reflect upon when I looked back on the last few weeks…

1. Whatever was said and shared confidently in private should remain with confidence in private.
2.Problems shared are half solved. The another half have to be acted upon or ignore it until the problem die a natural death.
3. There’s a comfort in confiding to a stranger, that because they don’t know you there wouldn’t be judgement, but just an ear to listen.
4.But yeah, maybe not all strangers will do that, well at least they don’t really know you and you can just say you don’t care and brush it off as an experience.
5. It’s still best to trust your instinct when it comes to who to trust and who to … Hate? Nah, just people who not to get too comfortable with.
6. Again, I’ve proven that time is not the test of true friendship. Trials are.
7. Friends are essential part of your being. It’s easier to walk the extra mile knowing they are there, ready to help you up when you fall.
8. Loosen up. Once in a while it’s good to just let yourself go with the flow. A little fun and a little goofing around is good for you.
9. It’s nice to know that I can still shock people.
10. Paasa. I so hate that word. We have control over our lives. It’s not someone else’s fault if you cling with hope over something.
11. I like people who are passionate over their dreams, goals and ideals. Because I am.
12. Moving on might be a decision, but letting go is a process.
13. Leaving the past where it belong doesn’t mean never looking back. Opening your door to both the past and the future and seeing them without the pain, and sadness that was there once was actually a refreshing experience.
14. Maturity doesn’t come with age (but with experience). So is being ‘cool’.
15. Your words are like double edge word. Be careful of what your lips utter. Or in another case, what your hands will type in the keyboard.
16. Accepting your weakness is where you begin to find your strengths.
17. Never under estimate the effect of the Super Moon to your sanity.
18. There are things you can’t share without ending up liking each other and forming an inevitable bond of friendship.
19. Some things are not meant to be shared.

20. Technology is both a blessing and a curse.

21. The human brain and emotion is still the most fascinating subject to analyze and discuss. And politics would be next.
22. Yeah, not many people will agree with that last one and just regard me as boring.

Well, this is probably my longest self reflection thus far. You probably agree some, smile some, shook your head some… I just wish  you didn’t fell asleep. That’s all for now folks.

~valerie shyne~

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