Today I’m feeling blue. I don’t know if it’s because of the weather but most probably it’s because of the weather. This cold and gloomy sky just make the depression inside of me come out. Plus I’m thinking so much. Lately, I always find myself in a turmoil inside my head. So, I decided to do that thing that always help me clear the cobwebs of thoughts that won’t go away… cleaning my closet. I don’t know about you but cleaning and doing the laundry always help me think more clearly. In the middle of cleaning my closet I came to this box that I haven’t opened in ages. In contains all those sentimental stuff that I can’t find in my heart to throw away. And inside of that box is a journal that contains my thoughts when I am feeling gloomy just like I did today. It kind of make me think that my wisdom was better when I was younger – another thought that is quite depressing. But well, thanks to those moments of self reflection, I felt a little better. I decided to encode what was in the journal and share it here…
“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”
These words were both a line and a title of a book by Robert Schuller; words that had left a mark at me.
Time and again, I would come to remember my experiences and be delighted on how I was able to manage all of them. Well, maybe not everything with flying colors but everything with success. Yes; on going back at those moments I could remember how in those times I’ve been clouded with so much despair, disappointments and questions. How on times I was so desperate to resolved them and realizing later on that those trials have their purpose of coming my way.
I could remember the painful times when someone in the family died, had my plan went out of the way, and times when I failed on something that I wanted so bad to succeed. It brought me so much hurting that I thought nothing could ease it anymore. But when I take a pause, I remembered that I am not alone. I have a God up there that is waiting for me to call on Him and ask for guidance and assistance. Through all those hurting, the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that, amidst all the troubles and pains, my prayer – the communion I have with my Lord; is by far the greatest help I could have to carry it all and later comprehend His mighty purpose for letting all of those events take place.
Upon the pains that I went through, God helped me understand that life is much more than what you think of it. So as long as you do not let yourself be consumed by all the hindrance that blocks the way and let not yourself be wallowed in self pity and disappointments; there’s no reason for you to not come out of the dark tunnel with success. Sometimes, you might get bruised and scarred but don’t despair for those will help you stand firmer the next time around. With that, you won’t stumble down on the same block of hindrance over again.
There are still moments that I get depressed and disappointed. Circumstances sometimes hid us the good things that we could still be thankful for despite the trials; but at least, I know better now than get carried away with my unfortunate experiences. Life like what they say is a matter of perspective. I could get hurt and let depression rule over, or I could get hurt and use it as a steeping stone to stand up again.
One of God’s greatest gift to humanities is the gift of choice. With that gift comes the choice of choosing the better perspective and look at things positively now matter how everything around you seems to work negatively. After all, happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and offer thanks for the troubles that we don’t have. Life is hard, that’s a given, but then it is also happy, depending on how we look at it.
October 12, 2009
And that folks was some of my thoughts during my best “lucid” intervals. Writing always makes me feel better and today I’m just glad that I was able to do that.