Warning: Raw thoughts. Sorry for the typos and the grammar errors. I don’t have time to proof read kasi.
For the past 4 months that PBB is on air, feeling ko, housemate na din ako. This is the only season where I experienced waking up and sleeping at the same time the PBB Housemates does. And that’s all thanks sa Pasilip ni Juan Tamad.
Pero kung ang PBB ay drama ng totoong buhay, allow me to share with you the the ‘drama sa likod ng chatbox’ or not exactly. Hahaha. This is prolly my most informal blog since I started this blogsite 2 years ago. Kasi for the first time, I am talking using my two persona. Me and my other half… Valeria. Gusto kong tapusin ang PBB experience ko kasama sya, kasi for the first time in my existence, I was able to introduce that side of me sa maraming tao.
This blog post is about the people who have been a great part of our life during the past three months. Gusto kong isipin na somehow, I have come to know a tiny bit of their personality. And for safety measure, napagdesisyunan naming na gumamit ng codenames. Hahaha! Just in case we weren’t able to give justice to their personalities. The code names doesn’t have anything to do kung ano or sino sila. We used all our favorite things as codenames. It is also written in no particular order. So without further ado, I present to you the people infront and behind Pasilip… ang tahanan ng mga chatters.
BLUE. For me, Blue is the voice of reason in the chatbox. I admire how Blue has always been fair to everybody. Though at times, nakakainis din siya. Pero hinangaan ko yung lawak ng pang-unawa niya sa mga buhay nang taong pinapanood mo sa livestream. Hindi lang iyon sa kung ano ung napapanood mo. Tine-take into consideration din niya iyong mga bagay na posibleng hindi nakikita ng camera, at iyong mararamdaman ng mga taong involve sa tao sa loob ng bahay ni kuya. Late ko na sya nakasundo. But I guess, I really got to know Blue during the last few days both of us were active in the headquarters. Kasi doon ko nakita iyong negative side niya. At some point, na disappoint ako. But then narealize ko na itong mga negative na ito ay nagpapatunay lang na tao din naman sya. Blue is human, masyado lang siyang nahulma sa idealism na nakita ko sa kanya during those three months that I was active in the chatbox but that didn’t mean Blue is any less of a person dahil sa mga negative side niya na yon. In the end, I still like how Blue has been fair and not judgemental to anyone.
Strawberry. When I think of strawberry, I think of green fields, lavishly red fruits and a sunny yet cold weather. Contradicting siguro na magkasama iyong sunny and cold na weather. Pero siguro it’s because somehow, ganon din si Strawberry. At first, confusing ang character niya. But as the days run along, I’ve seen how even though she tried hard to mask herself with the meanness and naughtiness she could muster, beneath lies a really good heart, and a soft person. Very open minded siya when it comes to arguments, other people’s opinion on her and even though when someone hurt her without giving her the benefit of the doubt, she just let it go with smile. She chose to be mature about the situation even though most of the times, she acts about five years younger than her age. I guess that was the point when she fully earned my respect. I could honestly say that she’s one of the reasons why I immensely enjoy spending time in the chat box. And we may not have known each other very long, but at this point in time, I can honestly say that she’s one of those I have learned to truly love and care about.
Blueberry. This person was one of the two persons I have first chatted with. Noong hindi ko pa siya kilala at tatanungin mo ako kung ano sa palagay ko ang pinagkakaabalahan niya, I would have said, ‘she’s studying law and will be a very great lawyer’. How wrong I was. Hahaha! Which just proved that first impression is not always correct. Pero bakit ko ba nasabi iyon? Kasi I know several lawyers, and when I read Blueberry’s comments they do sound like a lawyers. Pati pagka pilosopo at pagkabalahura ng mga kakilala kong abogado kuha niya. But then, I realized hindi din siya talaga pwedeng lawyer in real life. Blueberry may come off as too strong and too opinionated most of the times but if I am to compare her, I’d say Blueberry is more like a dog who barks greatly but don’t know how to bite. I’m not saying na hindi siya strong. Kasi malakas talaga ang personality niya, but then, like a dog lies beneath a tenderness na makikita mo lang if you’ve charmed your way sa buhay niya. Iyon din siguro ang dahilan kaya mahal siya ng mga tao sa chatbox kahit ang hilig niya mang trip ng iba.
Mallows. Noong sa Pasilip ko pa lang sya nakakausap, ang nakita ko sa kanya ay isang tao na maraming pinagdaanan sa buhay. Kasi kapag nag salita siya, you know na it was said from experience. Pero may mga taong na awkward sa kanya. Kasi masyado siyang straight forward magsalita. They even thought na feeling close daw siya masyado at ayaw siya kausapin till makilala pa siya ng kaunti. Natawa lang ako ngayong naalala koi yon. Kasi iyong nagsabi non, mas close na niya kaysa sa akin ngayon. Hahaha. Which kind of say na tumatama din naman ang mga first impression ko. Actually, mas madalas na tama siya. My instinct never failed me when it comes to people whom I should trust. And I can very well say that Mallows is one of the people in the group that I trust the most. Siya iyong tao na hinulma ng mga bagay na nangyari sa buhay niya. Matatag siya at confident dahil nakilala niya ang sarili niya sa mga bagay na pinagdaanan niya. At isa iyon sa mga bagay na hinahangaan ko sa kanya.
Lilies. Bukod kay Jtbelles, siya na siguro ang pinaka-busy na tao sa grupo in a totally different way. Hindi ko sya gaanong kilala sa personal na lebel kasi nga masyado siyang abala parati. Pero noong panahon na isang dakilang lurker pa lang ako sa Pasilip, humanga ako sa abilidad niya to google everything in a matter of one minute, two minutes tops. Pero ayon sa kanya ay encyclopedia daw yon. Wikipedia siguro… or at least sarili niyang version ng Wikipedia. The thing I admire most about Lilies is her passion over the things that she like. And how her passion can ignite her to push herself to succeed. I can compare her to a ball of energy. Para siyang may adrenaline rush parati except that her energy doesn’t fade.
Truffles. Nasabi ko na naman sa kanya kung ano opinion ko sa kanya. Pero kung tatanungin ako without the need to elaborate kung paano ko sya nakita as a person, I’d say, isa siya sa pinaka-sensible na taong nakilala ko. Hindi nga lang masyadong halata. But with Truffles, it’s okay to talk about anything under the sun. I appreciate how Truffles can be straight forward sa mga opinion niya in a way na hindi naman offensive ang dating sa iba. Alam din niya when to put a wall na tipong, “oops hanggang dito lang yung joke ko dapat or iyong opinion ko” otherwise it’ll be crossing boundaries on other people’s feelings. Respect and Open-mindedness. Iyon ang mga bagay na alam nya kung kalian dapat ilagay sa sitwasyon at ibigay sa isang tao. And because of that, Truffles has earned my respect. Masasabi ko rin na siya iyong glue that holds everyone together. Ewan ko ba, kahit minsan sinabi ko na si Truffles lang naman sya and it shouldn’t matter that much, it do matter that much. I also admire how Truffles showed genuine concern to everyone else, even though most of the time, they don’t notice it. If Mallows and Strawberry are Shy’s favorite people in the group, Truffle’s is definitely Valeria’s favorite.
Parker. Just to be clear, it means Parker the pen and not some Korean actor or character. Anyways, Parker was one of the earliest I’ve been closed with in the chat. Partly siguro was because we were both outsiders, or plain chatters then. Kumbaga, sampig lang kami sa bahay ni kuya at hindi pa official housemate. Many things have happened since then na pag binabalikan ko, parang hindi tatlong buwan lang ang lumipas mula noon. Pero kung may hindi nagbago sa opinion ko sa kanyan noon at ngayon, it’s the thought that Parker is a cool person. We might have come to a little misunderstanding and awkwardness along the way para magbago iyong pakikitungo ko sa kanya, but it wouldn’t negate the fact that Parker is a good person. Minsan nga lang, mali iyong paraan ng pagpapakita niya ng concern. Pero tulad ni Blue, those things were what made Parker human. Pagkakataon ko na rin siguro ito to tell my apologies. I know malaki iyong kasalanan ko. In my defense, I’m naturaly crazy. And that craziness gives me room to look at things differently and read people differently. At dahil din doon, hindi nag ja-jive iyong opinions naming sa mga bagay bagay. Which made me think na if we come across another misunderstanding, I would be judged the way I wouldn’t want to be. Kaya I put a little distance. Pero hindi naman binago niyon kung ano iyong mga bagay na hinangaan ko sa pagkatao niya. Like being really cool, trying to understand even in a totally different way that most people wouldn’t really get, the concern for everyone else. And despite all the negative side of you that I came to see, these positive side of you still overrode all of those.
Snickers. One of the most talented person I have the fortune of meeting even just online. The first time nan aka-usap ko siya, ang balashubas niya sa akin. Pero hindi naman ako na-offend. Kasi for some reason, magaan talaga ang loob ko sa kanya. And getting to know Snickers a bit deeper proved why that feeling was there the first time we talked. Minsan lang din siguro, masyado siyang prangka to the point na offensive na sa ibang tao. But that’s what I appreciate about Snickers the most. Hindi mo kasi kailangan na i-guess kung paano siya pakikitunguhan. That straightforwardness showed the honesty used to mingle with everyone else. Kahit na minsan, ang brutal talaga ng dating.
Lavander. Hindi ko pa nakausap si Lavander ng anything personal or iyong kaming dalawa lang. Most of our topics have something to do with PBB. Or about someone else in the chatbox. She’s someone na parang ang gaan ng mundo. Isa iyon sa mga bagay na gusto kong masubukan sa totoong buhay, iyong maka-hang-out sya. Para naman hindi ako puro theories at para na din ma disprove ko iyong ilang reservations ko about her. Hahahaha. Pero the thing I admire most about her is that, she’s not the type of person to brag. She’s been to many places, seen a lot, experience a lot, pero you wouldn’t see her act as someone who know it all. Kapag nag kwento siya, alam mo na nag kukwento lang siya talaga. Pero like everyone else, may negative din sa kanya, at iyon ay, wala siyang train of thought at madalas masyado siyang childish. She must have a lot of things going inside her head lang din siguro. Tipong everything is taken at face value. Pag naisip niya, kahit hindi kasali sa usapan, sasabihin niya. Noong una, it caught me off guard at times, pero ngayon, part na iyon ng mga bagay na I learned to like about her.
Nachos & Cheese. Cheese always works wonders on nachos. Kaya siguro the two of them are good to go with each other. Sila iyong pure good vibes lang ang dala sa grupo. Difference in time zones made it almost impossible for me and nachos to get to know each other but I don’t feel any bad vibes from this person. Minsan lang pag magkasama sila, idagdag mo pa ang isa sa nasa taas, masakit sa ulo din ang pure goodness na dala nila. Hahaha! Para ka kasing sinagasaan ng adrenaline rush kapag silang tatlo ay sabay sabay mong nakausap. At mas lalong para kang sinagasaan ng adrenaline rush kapag sabay sabay kang napagtripan ng tatlong ito. But because of them, there’s always reason to look at things lightly and brightly.
Pringles. Among everyone else, I think we started on the wrong foot. At some point of this behind the chatbox story, I felt like we didn’t like each other. Pero siguro, it was prejudice on my part for judging her base on what I thought happened. My bad. But the past few days, I’ve learned to get comfortable with Pringles a little more. Nakatulong siguro na, aksidenteng na-witness ko ang ibang bahagi ng personality niya. Hindi siguro siya iyong tipo na magiging bff ko kasi we have different ideals and outlook sa buhay. Pero iyong differences naming sa isa’t-isa na iyon ang dahilan para mas ma-appreciate ko siya. I love dealing with people who thinks differently than I do, sees things differently than I see. Pero kung kalokohan ang pag-uusapan, I think we’ll be good partners in crime.
Champagne. Ang taong ito, bihira ko lang makausap pero a lahat ng pagkakataon na nagkausap kami, may sense naman ang mga pag-uusap na iyon. I believe that you can really get to know a person by the way they talk. Kasi, kahit mag pretend ka, at some point you are bound to get a slip of the tongue. Pero siya, kahit madalas parang mas gusto niya na ilabas sa ibang tao ang boredom niya, when you get to talk, you can see the sensible and reasonable person underneath. And a very intelligent person too. Champagne proved me that, differences in opinion is not a hindrance for two people to get along.
Pizza. Pag siya ang kausap ko, nakakalimutan ko na halos kaedad ko lang din ang kausap ko. Namali yata sya ng henerasyon ng pagkapanganak (and I mean that in a positive way). Pizza is someone who is truly young at heart. Makikita mo yon sa kung paano niya na pe-perceive ang mga bagay bagay. Pero tulad ng isang bata, there’s the beauty in the way she she’s life that only a child does. Carefree and natural. Minsan lang siguro name-misinterpret ng ibang tao iyong katangian niyang iyon. I love her confidence among other things. Hindi ko masasabing kilala ko na siya talaga kasi we’re more on hi and hello lang din. But I’d love to get to know her more.
UstreamerXXXXXX. Hindi ko in-expect na kasama sya ditto, pero sabi ni Valeria, isama daw kaya sige. Hahaha! Well, hindi siya nandito dahil nan-troll siya in one of his/her drunken state. Pero may sinabi kasi siya na as someone who is a frustrated writer, ay na-appreciate naming talaga. Sorry, hindi kasi ako sanay ng nato-troll kaya hindi ko alam kung paano mag re-react then, pero gusto kong kunin ang pagkakataon na ito na magpasalamat for appreciating the blogger/writer side of me. Nothing beats knowing that somebody actually read your works. Hindi lahat ng tao nakita iyon. And the fact na alam mo iyon, totoo man ang mga salitang binitawan mo or maybe just empty words to say something nice, salamapat pa din. Kasi those words had helped me gain confidence worth a few manuscript about to be written.
Madalas iniisip ko kung paano kaya nila ako nakita the past three months. One thing I am sure, they all think I am crazy. And I am. Pero may mga point siguro na nainis sila sa akin for being maldita at times, too opinionated and sometimes annoying. I imagine them na siguro pinagtataasan ako ng kilay. Naiinis at kinaasaran. Kasi I know naman how I can get irritating at times. So thank you for putting up with those. Pero hindi din maitatangi na madalas nila ako pagkatuwaan. Feeling ko tuloy naghihiganti sila. Hahaha! But I’m good. It’s been really fun.
And here is where it ends. The past three months… almost four had been a fun filled journey for me because of you guys. Thank you for being there when I needed a friend when the ones I have are a little too far. Thank you for all the advices, even if sometimes, I am not really asking for it. Thank you for forcing me to face a ghost that I really don’t want to face and at the same time helping me realized that I am really free of that ghost. Ayaw ko lang tanggapin. You guys are a blessing. I never thought chatting is something that I’d enjoy but I did, immensely and that’s because of you. This is the happiest PBB season for me.
And in behalf of Pasilip, thank you to all the chatters who have shared those almost four months with us. Thank you for the arguements, the discussions, even the landian part, the nonsense, the exchange of thoughts about the show, the just whatever talk, you guys are amazing. Especial thanks to, JezerBrad08, Atotskie, Ryuxxx, KuyaTol, Jkarish, iloveshyunique, Cruzxxx, Destiny143red, startwinkle, macmacako, Pattssyy, makemywish, marjiepooh (thanks for the trust girl) who have made me look forward to logging in the chat box.
Our paths crossed because of PBB, I can only hope that it won’t end when PBB does.
Guessing game, anyone? JK!
Shyunique & Valeria